Friday's Top 5... Questions Raised by the Existence of the Oogiloves Movie

#5: What the hell is an Oogielove?
Judging by the fact that film has now become notorious for having the lowest opening weekend take ever, I guess we may never know.

#4: Oh, that's an Oogielove. Shouldn't we be... killing it?
Seriously. If you saw one of these things coming at you, wouldn't your first instinct be to bear mace it?

#3: Cloris Leachman, do you not know that you have an Oscar?
Look, I realize that times change and The Last Picture Show was a long time ago and you're kind of crazy but... I mean, come on.

#2: What?
There's a lot going on in this picture. Several things make sense individually, but not in combination with any of the other things in the picture.

#1: Is that a... gas pump?
I'm genuinely curious. What is that thing?